Music

Music has been to my rescue for as long as I could remember. From songs on the radio to songs that I have played on my own. Music just makes me feel a 100 times better no matter what the situation is. Music is one of the biggest blessing in my life. I could have nothing else in this world and music would be enough for me. Every song has its own story, there is something speaking from every chorus. Most of us don’t see that; its something we have to dig for, something we have to have a passion for. Music is what keeps me going through the bad and even the good.  A life without music is a life without air. I was always on the search for love but I have found my true love; the love that will never disappoint me and never leave me broken. Music has been my life saver and now my true love.

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Stranger

The stranger came early in September, on one beautiful day.  His becoming smile was intriguing. Without realizing it I was welcoming  this stranger to come closer. In his first words there was something different; something special. They way he spoke was so mellifluous to me. He had me right then and there. I could feel that he was something amazing. Their wasn’t a single soul in this world that could understand the way I felt around him. I was failing in love with a stranger, and I didn’t know how to slow it down. He made me just want to gambol. We grew closer together. I knew like the back of my hand, if he promised me something then it was a promise till death. Our Love for each other was untouchable. In a blink of an eye he said the most piercing words. The words that ended it all. In that moment my heart had shattered in my chest. He promised me everyday that there was nothing that would ever tear us apart.  at that moment I realized I had fallen in love with a stranger.

 

Girl With A Mask

Why do we hide? Why do we pretend that everything is okay, When its not? She walks into a room; knowing she is gonna be asked the question. The question that makes her check herself. The question that brings all the feelings to the surface struggling for air. The question that makes her force a smile when all she wants is to cry. All she wants is to is fall to her knees and let out a weep. But she wont. She wont let them see the suffering and the heartache that brings pain. It would be a social suicide if she ever let it show. So what does she do? She puts on her mask. She fakes it till she makes it. She hides behind the painted smile like there is no evil in this world. Her heart was torn when she had to say goodbye. Until she met him who brought her back to life. Who guided her after losing sight of her path. She no longer needed the mask. She took it off and and stared at it with victory. She placed it her top drawer and hoped to never have to open it again. Her life was filled with happiness. She didn’t need to fake a smile it was all real and alive. She was so happy with all around her.She remembered when she walked in the room and saw him standing there with the mask in his hand giving it to her. He turned around walking back never turning around. As the tears rolled down her face as she placed the mask on her face. She felt chains slowly tighten and pull her into a place of sorrow. She took in a deep breath as she stepped into the door way. She walked in and saw him standing there with remorseful look. Her friends walked up and asked her the question; the question that she tried to avoid…. ” Are you okay?”

Saved Me

Its has set me free,
Breaking all the chains,
It showed up one day
but all I knew was the pain.

It brought me to happiness,
but yet haunted me with fear.
I was nothing more then lost,
always blinded by the tears.

Then He changed me,
He brought me back to life.
I could finally breath again,
He taught me to believe.

He Showed Me LOVE.

 

Safe

She lived in a world where she never knew what it felt like to feel safe.  Her and her mother were always on the search to find a place to call home. This put them in many places where there sleepless nights and tears. She had seen many things that were scaring that had left an imprint on her for life. She always lived in fear of history repeating its self. As she got older she was removed from her travels and moved in with her dad. She yet never had the slightest feeling of security in their home.  She always saw how most people interacted with one another and how open and happy they were. All she new is that she wanted to feel that. She wanted to be able to forget every worry in the world  and be able to tell someone everything and just be one with them. She began to start getting latched onto boys. she realized this got her nowhere and soon made her feel even more insecure. She soon lost faith in happiness. She didn’t believe she would ever be in a safe place and thought she would always have to be on the run with her life. She ended up meeting someone; someone who made her laugh. They soon started talking and became friends. She started telling more about herself and felt that he wouldn’t ever put it against her. Their friendship later turned into something deeper. He shined the light down into the hellish pit of loneliness, and found her and showed her that there is faith. She realized this when she saw him walk through the door and just take hold of her and just embraced her. He had scared of the insecurity and had replaced it with certainty. He showed her what it felt like to feel safe with no worries in sight. From that moment on she knew God had made him for her.

Thoughts

He was falling for girl. A girl who was known as the outcast. He saw deeper then the surface. She was special. She combined a mean angel and a kind devil. He was growing a deep regard for her with no way to stop it. The more she pushed him away the tighter the ropes pulled him towards her. The day she fell apart he was there to catch every block. She had been hiding so much from the world inside. She was was in a Dark, lonely hole. She was the only one who knew the truth.. that she was broken. The nights she would ask for help there was no one ever there. Him being there showed her that there was hope. She was never the one to talk about the pain to anyone, but the thoughts were destroying her. She tried not to think but the silence was a killer too.

The Gift

She was born with a gift but most saw it as a curse. She had gotten extremely ill in her younger years almost passing. Though she did grow healthy and chased away the sickness, it had took her vision with it. As she grew older she hated this more and more. She just wanted to be normal and be able to do things like everyone else. She wasn’t able to play sports with the other kids. No one ever wanted to be friends with her, during their free time she would sit under a tree, placing a hand against the dull rigid trunk while listening to the trees branch sway and and the leaves dance in the wind.  She painted pictures of what the world around her  looked like. But her mom always told her to use her imagination. Her mom always reminded her that she had a special gift. She never really knew what that was. Her mom always told her she had to seek it within herself. A few years have gone and came around she was now in her senior year, and she was losing her best friend to cancer. She spent every night with her mom in the hospital. The doctor had told her that she only had a few more hours, for they could no longer do anything to save her. She looked at her mom through the tears, she tried so hard to be strong but pain hit her walls down. She held on to her mothers hand for dear life ” you cant leave me your all I have.” Her mother looked over to her and took a deep breath “you are such a blessing to my life. You have an amazing gift and dont let anyone tell you different….. remember I love you too the moon and back.” Her mothers hand squeezed and then slipped from her grasp. She sat there for a few minutes going through the memory of her. she thought long about what her mother had always told her about a gift. but never came close to what she was talking about. she opened up the door to her house. she walked to her moms room and looked in. She saw a white envelope. she layed on the bed and opened it up. ” dear beloved daughter, Im sorry I had to leave, I never imagined it would be so soon. You are such an amazing person you light up every room you walk into and never have anything mean to say about anyone, you were always the girl who accepted everyone for who they truly are inside and out…” she finally realized the gift her mother was talking about. She never judged anyone because she could only see people from the inside. Everyone judges each other by the second they see them, but she had the gift to meet and know the deeper level of their beauty.

Inspire

We all live with some sort fear or past that haunts us. We all try to hide it, but why should we? The more we hide it the more it eats away at us. We shouldn’t hide what has happened to you.  We all should be open about it because there is someone else who has gone through the same thing you have. Its better to know that there is someone who has gone through the same pain I have, then keep it to myself. My story can save someone from the feeling of being alone in a battle of heart ache. So don’t hide who you are, just share your story and inspire.

Bad Instinct

As girls we all have this instinct to be #1. We never want someone else to one up us at something we are good at or maybe how we look. But this cant be an excuse to talk bad about one another. There is no reason to try to be better then someone else because we all have something unique about us, and that is what makes you special. I get that we all want to be seen as the hottest girl in school or the best one at a sport, but where is this actually gonna get you in life? NOWHERE!!! The thing about girls is we call out flaws that most people would overlook and call them out on it to make ourselves seem better. As stupid as it sounds we are all guilty of it even if we don’t  recognize it. why cant we all just accept ourselves for how we are. We are all beautifully made and shouldn’t want to change ourselves for any reason.